Why “Don’t Touch” Makes Us Want It Even More?

Have you ever asked yourself why it’s always when you’re told not to do something that you suddenly feel like doing it? And when it happens, do you ever wonder what really pushes you to act that way? Let me share a thing or two.

Recently, I was having lunch with my colleagues, just chatting casually. I don’t even remember how the topic started, but we found ourselves talking about how people often want the things they’re not supposed to have. We laughed as we gave examples, but what struck me was how true it felt for everyone. If it hasn’t happened to you, it has surely happened to someone close to you.

Here’s a simple example that many ladies will certainly relate to: when you set diet goals and decide to cut out certain foods. Guess what? Those are the exact foods you suddenly crave the most. The moment you tell yourself, “I can’t have this,” it becomes the only thing you want. Personally, I don’t really like bread, and I rarely buy it. But the moment I start a diet, bread becomes the one thing I can’t stop thinking about. Funny, right?😄

As I thought more about it, my mind went back to the story of the Garden of Eden. God gave Adam and Eve so many trees to enjoy, but then He said, “Not this one.” And what did they do? They went straight for that one tree. The Bible doesn’t say the fruit was glowing, magical, or special in any way. It was simply the one they couldn’t have. The “no” from God didn’t just mark a limit—it made that fruit stand out. This is what’s called "the psychology of the forbidden fruit".

The psychology of the forbidden fruit refers to the idea that when restricted, or hard to get, people often find it more desirable than if it were freely available.  Psychologists link this to something called reactance which means when people feel their freedom to choose is restricted or forbidden, they often become more motivated to want that very thing. This explains why “forbidden” things can seem more attractive, whether that’s food, relationships, or behaviors.

There’s also the idea of scarcity. Our brains are wired to think that rare things are more valuable. For our ancestors, scarce resources often meant survival. That’s why today, when something feels hard to get, our mind tricks us into believing it must be more important or worth chasing. This principle reminded me that I heard multiple times people saying that when someone plays hard to get (be it a lady or a man), this actually makes her/him more attractive.

And then comes curiosity. Scientists say that not knowing exactly what will happen excites the brain. The mystery itself becomes tempting. That’s why unopened gifts feel more valuable than the object inside. The forbidden doesn’t just tempt us because it’s there, it tempts us because our brain sees it as freedom lost, value gained, and mystery waiting to be solved.

Folks, me reading and knowing about this doesn’t make the temptation disappear, but it makes it easier to know it for what it is. Currently, when I am pulled toward something, at least I pause and ask myself: Do I actually want this? Or is it just my brain trying to play tricks on me!

Share your thoughts, Please!

Dedicating this piece to my colleagues Vivine, Monique and Assumpta.😊